Death’s Embrace: Finding Peace in the Inevitable

Death’s Embrace: Finding Peace in the Inevitable

I once asked a group of Christians if they would like to go to heaven, and they all gave me a unanimous answer: “YES!” But then I asked again, “Do you want to die?”, and there came another unanimous answer: “NO!” followed by a burst of laughter from them, knowing how ironic they sounded. They all wanted to go to heaven, but none of them wanted to die to get there; meanwhile, that is the only way(literally) to go to heaven.

The existential crisis of death eludes everyone, incomprehensible as it is, there is only one thing we can all agree upon, which is that we are all going to die someday and the most interesting thing about it is the fact that the time of death is unknown. Doctors, philosophers, traditionalists, and scientists have all tried to understand this existential crisis, but it all boils down to one hard truth: Death is inevitable. So this begs the question, “Why do we live to die ?”

The answer to that question lies in the subject of life rather than that of death. Death gives meaning to life; it gives us the drive to make the most out of the life we have, even when we know that we are still going to die. When we think about death, it can be scary, but it can also help us appreciate how amazing life is. It’s like knowing you have a little piece of cake, so you have to enjoy every bit of it, savoring the taste in your mouth to get the sweetness and satisfaction it gives. It is about focusing on living a good life, which will bring us peace when we think of the end. Every life is unique and valuable. When we focus on living fully, we are not just preparing for death; we are celebrating the life we have. It is about finding joy and meaning in the everyday moments, big and small, having a good relationship with the people and society we live in. Death ends a life, not a relationship.

It is not just about being alive, it is about living. Living and being alive are really not the same thing; you can be alive but not living. Living implies being active in the world you live in. Most people entertain the truth of death so much that they live their lives in mediocrity, believing there is no meaning in living to the fullest when it will end in a split second. Of course, it’s crazy, you spend decades building a life just for everything to vanish in a split second. It is a very irrational and unfair logic. That’s the cruelty of life. The mistake we often make is that we live our lives trying to get to somewhere which is an illusion created by the mind to make us strive, for living is striving. If we are not striving for any goal, maybe we will all be a bunch of mediocre individuals walking the earth. But the hard truth is that there is no trophy to be won, and there is no finish line to reach. The trophy is in how you walk the journey, the struggles, the experience, the moments, and the memories.

The idea of death provokes a deep reflective introspection of oneself, just like people on death row. I had the opportunity to visit a young cancer patient about 17 years old, who, according to the doctors, had barely two weeks to live. His name was Jake.

The boy was so full of joy that even when he knew that he was going to die soon, he was so courageous and full of life in his final days. We talked about his life, his memories of high school, and argued about who the GOAT was between Lebron James and Steph Curry, as he was a basketball player in high school and a big fan of Curry. We even made some hoops with paper-made balls in his hospital room. I felt so connected with Jake, seeing this young life, so full of potential yet facing a tragic, inevitable conclusion, shook me to my core. I thought to myself, “I am very lucky to have made it this far,” being 28 at that time. It was really hard to hold my tears as I was trying to be brave in front of him, I couldn’t believe that I had the opportunity to be alive up to that moment and I was not making the best of it while here is 17 years old Jake about to die in less than a month and yet full of life than I was. It forced me to confront the stark reality of death’s embrace in a way I never had before. Before him, death was an abstract concept, a distant inevitability I acknowledged but rarely truly felt. It was a line on a hospital chart, a hushed funeral, something that happened to others. But sitting across from a seventeen-year-old, grappling with the profound finality of his own, shattered that comfortable distance. It struck me that finding peace in the inevitable is not just about finding the pain of loss or the fear of the unknown. Instead, it is about confronting the frailty of life head-on, acknowledging the paths that lead to its end, and most importantly, recognizing the inherent value of every single moment, no matter how short or challenging.

What I have come to understand is that finding peace in death is not about ignoring the pain or pretending death is not scary. It is rather about acknowledging that death is an inherent part of the human story. Therefore, realizing that every single moment we have, every connection we make, holds immense value. This will help us live more fully, love more openly, and forgive more easily. It turns the idea of death from a terrifying end into a powerful reason to truly embrace life.